I saw this picture a year or two ago thanks to a friend of mine who was a computer geek back then and it has stayed with me until this very day:
It’s not just funny but it is painfully true! Most men (including me) picture this nightmare before trying to approach a woman that caught their eye which triggers an anxiety cycle and leads to nothing happening. The ironic part is that sometimes the girl will be watching, and I mean really watching the guy and giving slight hints of her attraction but still the guy manages either to be too scared/nervous or to find made up excuses like “oh but she’s with all her friends”; “She’s watching the stylish guy behind me.”; “What would I say” or “A girl that must have a boyfriend”
The answer to this problem is to stop making assumptions (A topic my friend Beider covered in a previous post) do what you want to do and take the shot!
Be aware of this problem if you have it and build up your attitude day by day until you see the image becomes less and less frequent. It will require patience and a lot of motivation to fight it but you ultimately want to approach strangers rather than regretting it picture yourself doing it and doing all over again. Then you can start approaching at ease but be aware that you’re going to fail a lot and be rejected a lot, be prepared for it, learn from it and keep moving on.
I must say I’m no expert on the subject and I frequently suffer panic attacks when I spot a girl I like (ok I might be exaggerating) but I do have developed a state of mind where I can feel the anxiety go away and I’m making slow but steady progress in the area.
The best tip I can give you is to start by making conversation with waitresses, security guards, bouncers etc… all the people that is working and will be probably open to chatting up with you even for a short while. That’s a good way to break down your beliefs and build new ones that get you ready to approach the ones you want without fearing the end of your world!
That comic hit very close to home for me too. There is no way out of it except to just remove the filter in your head that is stopping you.
I agree Jin roh, that filter must go out of our heads! It may be hard but it’s more than worth it.
Reblogged this on Sneezy and commented:
XKCD all too often describes my life.
Thanks for the reblog Sneezy! I’m glad you liked the post. XKCD is pure genius even if I don’t know that much about computers I love those comics1
Happy Holidays!
Thank you! Happy Holidays and a happy new year to you as well!
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I can not speak for all the other women out there, but if a guy actually came up to me and started a conversation I would be nice to him. I’d still not go out with him because I have a boyfriend, but what I am trying to say is that there is nothing to be afraid of. I would probably feel flattered even, because so far, when I got to know a man, it was either me making the first move or we got introduced by a friend.
I completely agree if nothing it is a great compliment to a woman and a new connection that happens. Hard to believe you had to make the first move (or maybe not really that hard) but anyway you could teach many men a lesson or two
Btw I hope your relationship is going great… I just love relationships, they are amazing!
I know! Somehow it seems men are … intimidated by me or something and I really don’t get why!
Haha, thank you, yes. My relationship is indeed going great.